I remember performing in my first big ballet, The Christmas Carol. I was too young to be anything more than an extra village person, but to be in the production along was unforgettable. The process took months with staging and late night dress rehearsals. I fell in love with dance all over again. Now ten years later I finally got the courage to go back, hoping to fall in love again.
Something was different this time, I felt even more aware, even more nervous, much less fearless, but even more committed. I was deeper in love than I realized! Sounds, movements, timing, and a language came flying back to me. I had to push against my body but my feet fell right in place. I have no goal in mind, no expectations, just giving into a passion that hasn't slept. I feel brand new! Adult ballet, I feel old and young at the same time.
I am so grateful, God has met me here, right where I am. Letting me get into grad school, letting me care for my husband, letting me have space. I know these are experiences never to be taken for granite. Everyday I wrestle with these great things in perspective with the out of place mundane things, that just never go my way. You would think by now I would stop fighting.
In ballet class my mind was focused and my heart was racing yet the silence was warming. I remembered I am taken care of. I feel the grace of God letting me sort through my life and letting me decide what I will hold on to. Giving into ballet classes is hopefully only the beginning!
